Thank You, Goodbye

I am a pauper among the nobles
The retard among the geniuses
Their reach is for the global
While I can only hold the nooses

Pathetic, I am, lost and tired
If I could just hold my breath
Or have a rope in my neck wired
Drip the crimson until my death

Say goodbye to those who knew me
Not your fault, a crime of mine
This, an authority’s final decree
No need to look behind my “fine”

Your existence is something I loved
I was happy, I was living the moment
But all dreams must come to an end
Continuously stuck in this nightmare

Comforted by your arms when you hugged
A sudden feel of relief washed by your scent
Thank you for being someone I can depend
But this is something I can no longer bear

Thank you for believing when I can’t
Words may not overturn this situation
This warmth that only you can grant
Still, please forgive this rash decision

You’re my first hello and last farewell
I hope you find what you’re looking for
Waiting until the final ring of the bell
Until it has opened———Death’s door

impromptu notes & scatterbrained dolls

this is not a drill

nor any kind of will

a straightforward answer

 

academics will hinder

moreso irrelevant thoughts

of this unnamed “educator”

 

too many, too much

that’s a rather lot to do

will i ever sort it out

 

energy continuously drained

nature’s and mine’s

living in multiple facets

 

ahhh, i want to sleep

darkness awaiting tomorrow

leaves with this note

 

and a bunch more nonsense

just to keep at least this one

alive, i guess

 

 

ｉｎｆａｔｕａｔｉｏｎ

(n.) temporary passion: an intense but short-lived irrational passion for somebody or something

i love too much

until my heart

cannot take it

i fall too hard

need to clutch

here it starts

fire’s been lit

down my guard

be rational, i say

it’s an addiction

let it be, it’ll go

but i can’t wait

tricks my mind play

stuck an affliction

i want it but no

mend this state

infatuation, leave

confusing love, it is

red strings weave

make it stop, please

ｓOｒＲ ｙ ｇｕｉｌｔｙ ＨＵＲＴＳ

ＩＴ　 ＨＵＲＴＳ

ＩＴ　 ＨＵＲＴＳ

ＩＴ　 ＨＵＲＴＳ

Words ｈａｃｋｉｎｇ  this poor heart

I can’t tell you to ｓｔｏｐ

Because I’m afraid to ｄｅｓｔｒｏｙ　 the state of your ａｒｔ

Each single ｔｅａｒ。。。

Each ｃｒｉｍｓｏｎ drop　 。。。

ｉ’ ｍ ｇｕｉｌｔｙ

ｉ’ ｍ ｇｕｉｌｔｙ

ｉ’ ｍ ｇｕｉｌｔｙ

But don’t let my ｇｕｉｌｔ  eat you

You have ｓｕｆｆｅｒｅｄ way too much

A ｐａｔｃｈｗｏｒｋ of my own, I will ｓｅｗ

Let me take your ｆｅａｒ 。。。

Let me hold your ｔｏｕｃｈ  。。。

ｉ’ Ｍ　 ｓO ｒＲ ｙ

ｉ’ Ｍ　 ｓO ｒＲ ｙ

ｉ’ Ｍ　 ｓO ｒＲ ｙ

For being ｐｏｗｅｒｌｅｓｓ

For being ｕｓｅｌｅｓｓ

For being ｍｉｎｄｌｅｓｓ

For being ｈｅａｒｔｌｅｓｓ

Sides

“Let me hear more of your dulcet whimpers.”

 

It’s your fault you know… How you fall trap to the decadence of bittersweet gratification and torture.

To helplessly drown in sorrows… It was oh, so wrong, but the repeating lines bear no relevance to the future.

 

“Stop the voices! Stop the noises!”

 

It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it? Nauseating criticisms, frustrating expectations, disturbing contemplation

So maybe the only way is to carve out the agony and let the gore flow, painting, staining decisions

 

“It’s painful to watch… This burden…”

 

It’s how you cope, huh? I had suspicions but I tried to deny so I won’t pry. But it came down to this.

I’m sorry but I don’t even know if you want my pity. So, here I’ll stay, don’t die on me, please.

 

“Pitiful… Pathetic… Little child. You’re conflicted and confused.”

 

Your heart constricting, twisting, disgusting filled with pretenses of love, trying to be normal, hah!

Not knowing what to do, stuck at crossroads, where will you head? Always trying to please, don’t make me laugh.

 

“In the end, whatever you do, it will always destroy you.”

Waiting

Four hours had passed by with you nowhere in sight
In and out, up and down, there I go loitering around
Used to this, I guess my heart, my tears no longer fight
City lights, vehicles sound, stranger come and surround

Spent my money for one of my guilty pleasures, food
Spent another round for internet even if I have wi-fi
But it’s also going down, down, down, out of battery
Like my cellphone’s supposedly downloading is dying

How many times had it been, waiting all this time, dude
There’s not even a sim card, not even a signal, no hi-fi
So I’m lurking like a hobo, feeling all random mockery
Knees and back already tingling, now ants are prickling

So it did came down to this, it’s getting night it really is
Don’t even think of making a tune for this boring story
Yes, I’m making this outside a mall with a laptop, jeez
Now, I’m getting paranoid of all, what, social anxiety?

Should have I left and risked getting lost, eenie meenie
Such an achievement, with all these staying, I didn’t cry
So I’ll just hum a special, ear-cringing melody, la da dee
See you then, my carriage has arrived, till next time bye

Group Appreciation Cheer

In our group, we have lots of memes

They’re sarcastic – our fun and games

Pictures that will put you to shame

Try us and we’ll roast you with flames

YOLO! Don’t remember our name!

 

We don’t need your silly, brazen fame

The faction that you shall never tame

A strange amalgam, diverse and same

We’ll show hell, dare you to call us lame

 

“Cheers to six years!”

 

Signs

When you cross the road, do you look at the sign?

When you compute complex numbers, do you look at the sign?

When that person is hurting, do you look at the sign?

When you’re contemplating, how much have you looked at the signs?

Don’t ever tell me that you did.

Because if you ever did, I wouldn’t had been gone for a long time.

Cut[e]

The HM move to strike down the trees removable in Pokémon.

How I ask to shorten my hair.

When we create beautiful origamis.

It’s a word that makes cute things possible.

It’s a word horrifying when you snip it into little pieces.

That destroys what is beautiful in the eyes of the majority.

Hold My Hand

I see the topic, my lips go dry
Hesitating to accept the fact
I wish it was just a simple lie
Cover the stain of that black

But I know, it can only delay
For everything is uncertain
All the nice parts I will play
As long as you want, remain

My pain is fine, it is alright
Don’t mind, I’ll carry all of it
Your fears, burden, sadness
Relieve your anger, let it go

Your happiness is my delight
Even if my heart is all in bits
I love you with my greatness
I may not understand, I know

My mind went blank, it was laid
Plain in sight, suspicions gone
Stuck in my head, never to fade
We’ll count days, second to none

Heavy, I’ll handle and manage
This to you, I will fully pledge
So, take my hand, light or dark
And we’ll take flight and mark